Should I Lend A Man Money?

QUESTION:

I'm in a situation where I need to know if I should I stay in this relationship. I'm 40 years old and have been dating a man for about 9 months. 5 weeks ago he asked me to take out a loan for 1 thousand dollars. I could not believe it. I told him no. He blew up my phone because I did not do what he asked. He knows that I have good credit and extra money. He filed for chapter 13 last year. He cursed me out for not following his plan when it came to my money. I said your plan? This is my money to do whatever. Should I keep this kind of guy around?

ANSWER:

Your letter is a bit scary (okay, it’s very scary) because you have been alive for 4 decades and still need to ask whether it’s okay to keep this “kind of guy around." Sure, as a booty call. I want everyone reading this to listen up: Never, ever lend more than a few hundred dollars at a time to someone that you're dating. I’m willing to allow this small amount of money because I understand things happen, however, don’t let the amount build up. If they get an attitude about it, that’s a big, red flag.

He is obviously fiscally irresponsible, so how could you trust him to ever pay you back? And then he curses you out because you’re not his puppy dog doing whatever he wants? Someone using profanity towards you is always a red flag, but in this situation, I think it’s a black flag!

I suggest you cut off all communication with this guy immediately and permanently. Nothing good can come out of having him in your life.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes with dating and relationships, but I never made the mistake of lending a guy too much money (and 1 thousand is too much, unless you’re a millionaire). My fear of not having enough money has always been greater than my fear of not having a guy. May I suggest you adopt my attitude and you will never be ripped off.